Jamaican Poetry: Feelings, feel the way I do

By: Denise N. Fyffe.
Copyright © 2011, Poetess Defy, Denise Fyffe

I don’t want to feel the way I do //

I can’t have you when I want you
I can’t have you when I need you;
I feel you in the sexual core of me
But you are like a desire
Which, there is no one else who can feed //;

This burning desire inside
That no one else has the extinguisher to subside;
I want you on a daily
But when I need to see you it’s a maybe or some other time;

I want to touch you and feel you near
I want to caress your loins and feel you throbbing there;
The more I try to pull away
The more I feel these emotions
Refusing to let me go and you to stay //;

It’s like a tidal wave inside
And I hate feeling vulnerable
Wanting to slink away and hide //;

I have no want for you to know how you affect me
Or even how you make me weak
What I desire, can you give?
Even though for others you have time, and give
Freely;

But am I even on that list?
Sometimes I wonder am I an emotional hideaway
Or temporary tryst //;

The possibilities messes with my head
And I wonder, if it’s a difficult road that lies ahead;
I don’t want to feel the way I do
Even though I have prayed to meet this form of you;

Why does it have to be so hard?
Why can’t I have, what I want?
Why can’t I get what I need?
Why does it feel like, there is no room with you, for me?

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