Love and relationships were certainly not what Dahlia thought they would be cracked up to be. All her misconceptions were flushed down the sewer and she was hurt, again.
When Dahlia thought that maybe, she needed patience, maybe it was her turn, maybe, just maybe this was it; it seemed not to be so easy. Just when she would want him to want to be with her….but that was faulty thinking, based on naïveté. Based on false hopes formed in her blind spot, because certainly, relationships existed in her blind spot.
Danny had started to mess himself, act the fool, show his real colours and repeatedly flaunt his shortcomings. That’s how egotistical he really was, everything was really about him. Dahlia had left this lesson behind decades ago, she had no time to squander her affections on someone who would truly not reciprocate fully, in kind.
She couldn’t even conceive the thought or demonstrative source of his action, now. Her ‘ego’ wanted to be continually perplexing but her existence, and sanity, for that matter depended on understanding and not wallowing like a pig in self pity. And as such, in this matrix of cyclic ‘un-learnedness’, she cannot exist. Therefore she must make an exit, less of the way she made her entrance.
In English, Dahlia was over him and would leave because she was not happy with him anymore. They all made the same mistake thinking she was hooked on them like phonics. This was a big mistake on their path. She could detach like an orphaned child; each time growing even more cold, colder and more isolated than Antarctica.
If she could only stand by this decision, like she had, when she abandoned the others. Just like she had given up on them. But now was different, wasn’t it? A little piece of her heart had grown attached.
“Shit!” She muttered and breathed in a deep breath, as if exorcising Danny from her very being.
“I am giving up on you,” Dahlia declared, to no one in particular.
She was giving up on him being with her. Dahlia must muster some balls and extend honor to that which is of herself, a decision; or at least try to.
More or less, she had just discovered a crack in her foundation; a missing chunk. She is not whole and to this end, all her other immoral frailties are also exposed. But she wished to think that she could seek some solace in the fiction that is her humanity, or venture to the eternal truth, which He is. There, in Him, some answers must lie. There she could be repaired to that of a better model, a futuristic version of her DNA. He never changed His strips. He was his-self always and forever. He alone had offered her unconditional love.
Shades off and blinkers on, Dahlia was focused on what is now unknown, but will not be so for long. She was certain the future would reveal itself; but, even though she was sometimes made privy, the flesh is cumbersome, and clarity lapses.
Love and relationships will not forever be an enigma to her, for even the answers to them must be found in Him. They too must yield to the eternal truth.
….Stay tuned for more…
By: Denise N. Fyffe.
Copyright © 2014, Denise N. Fyffe
Facing the challenges of a life filled with hurt, depression and suicidal tendencies; the journey towards transformation.