There is a reason why they say not to covet the life or experiences of someone else. You never know what they have been through. The same is especially true of those who are rich or wealthy and how what might seem to be an easier way of life.
Over the years, with time and experience I have watched via the television in real life, why this is especially true when it comes to wealthy people.
We should never covet the life of the rich and famous.
Reality Show: Paris in Love
During the last couple of weeks, I have been watching the episodes from the show Paris in Love on the Peacock app. This reality show depicts the period leading up to the wedding of Paris Hilton and Carter Reum.
40-year-old Reum is a venture capitalist and founder of investor firm, M13. Some of the startups he is backed include Daily Harvest, Lyft, and the shoe brand Rothy’s. In 2018, he also published a book, co-written by his brother Courtney, called Shortcut Your Startup: Ten Ways to Speed Up Entrepreneurial Success.
As the Paris in Love episodes progressed, I have noticed some deeply troubling behavior and actions, which might seem normal to many; but, it has caused some psychological trauma and psychological regression of Paris Hilton.
She behaves and speaks many times like a little girl.
Even this is referred to lightly, as a behavior adapted from her mother Kathy Hilton.
About Psychological Regression
Regression (German: Regression), according to psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, is a defense mechanism leading to the temporary or long-term reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of development rather than handling unacceptable impulses more adaptively. In psychoanalytic theory, regression occurs when an individual’s personality reverts to an earlier stage of development, adopting more childish mannerisms.
It is obvious that Paris Hilton has regressed to a more childlike state.
You will see this in her choice of favorite items, how she speaks, her preference for toys and similar items and her penchant for hoarding.
If you listen carefully, you can also hear that she mostly speaks in a very timid child pitched tone.
Controlling Behavior from Paris’ Hilton’s Mother, Kathy Hilton
Now, in the show, Paris is getting married to her fiancé however her mom is paying for the wedding. On close examination, and by their own admission there seems to be some shared personality traits between Paris and her mother with the exception that Paris seems timid, and she does not express her true feelings or frustrations about her mother’s controlling behavior.
For example, you can see that she bites her tongue and does not express how she feels when her mom dictates that this is the number of persons that she wants at the wedding, or this is a type of invitation she wants.
It leads to some passive aggressive behavior.
It leads to anxiety and it also leads to fear and resentment.
Kathy Hilton has even said that she is the one paying for the wedding and that they should just show up and keep their mouths shut.
Kathy Hilton also called Paris Hilton’s fiancé an octopus, because he rightfully wants to get involved in the planning of the wedding and seems to be the only person who really cares about being on top of the details.
For any normal person, it is normal to want to have a say in the planning of your wedding; because it is your day. It is not normal for the mother of the bride to dictate every single detail because she is paying for it and she would have already had her own wedding – 40 years prior.
This is an alarming red flag and makes me question – is this a depiction of a now popular demonstration or observations of our time, narcissism?
Questions about Kathy Hilton’s Behavior
Why is control so important to Kathy Hilton?
Why does she have to dictate how many people come to the wedding?
Why does she not notice how timid and frightened Paris Hilton is in front of her?
Why is she intruding into her daughter’s personal life and personal space?
Why is Kathy Hilton not respecting her daughter’s wishes and desires for her own wedding?
Why does everything have to be about what she wants or needs, when it should be about her daughter, Paris Hilton?
What has caused Kathy Hilton to be dismissive of both Paris Hilton and Carter Reum?
Paris Hilton’s Traumatic Experience
As someone who has studied psychology, I am overly concerned for Paris’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
I was not even aware that she had released another show where she shares her traumatic experiences from the fact that her parents sent her to boarding school and how they had people come into the house to take her out in the middle of the night to this boarding school, Provo.
At this school they physically, emotionally and psychologically abused Paris Hilton and others.
I do not usually watch reality shows because they have the habit of allowing people to develop unrealistic ideas and ideals for their own lives. However, for some reason I wanted to see how Paris had developed over the last 20 years since we saw her when she just started her domination of the world and social media along with the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. All whom we have learned and see as cautionary tales.
Controlling Behavior from Paris’ Hilton’s Fiancé Carter Reum
As we have also come to see there is some controlling behavior from her fiancé as well. If you watch the show Paris in Love, very carefully, you will see that Paris Hilton’s fiancé tends to put her in embarrassing situations by complaining passive aggressively, in public, about her unwillingness to get active in the planning of their wedding.
You can also see the discomfort or displeasure and anxiety on Paris Hilton’s face.
You can see that her past trauma and her psychological regression dictates how she behaves. Paris has also mentioned that she tends to shy away from conflict arguments or revealing her true opinion in the moment, especially with her mother.
But now we are seeing this behavior depicted in her interactions with her now husband, Carter Reum.
Does this bode well for their marriage?
Is this a foreshadowing of what is the come?
After all, the honeymoon and good feelings and butterflies have passed how will Paris view her marriage to Carter Reum?
Also, watch at times how he holds, embraces, or pats her. Pay keen attention to that aspect. At times, it is a little off putting and unnatural for two people in a romantic relationship.
Is this discomfort from being on camera? Or is it something more? Time alone will tell.
Why do people Regress Psychologically?
Sigmund Freud believed regression was an unconscious defense mechanism. It was a way the ego could protect itself from trauma, stress, or anger.
People with a history of trauma may be more likely to regress. In fact, this regression may be common in people who have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), a disorder formerly known as multiple personality disorder.
People with this disorder frequently have a younger personality among their distinctive personalities. However, it is believed that the “little” may not be a separate personality. Instead, it may be a regressed version of the original personality.
What is Best for Paris Hilton?
In later episodes, we see that Paris Hilton has started to attend counseling sessions. This certainly is the right approach to resolving or working on her psychological issues. It gives her a way forward and she can get the immediate help that she needs to move her life forward.
It is also the best approach in helping her to move out of that state of regression and to developing, even at the age of forty, into a mature adult.
One who is not afraid of voicing her opinion.
One who can express herself fully.
One who can share her opinion needs and wants with her family and friends, especially her mother.
It is not comfortable living a life, especially when your parents are wealthy and have immense power and have an active say in how you live your life.
It does not seem as if Carter Reum is the type of person who naturally takes dictates from his parents or anyone else as to how he lives his life. Therefore, I highly doubt that he is happy with how controlling Kathy Hilton is and how much say she has regarding their wedding or Paris Hilton’s life.
At the same time, he needs to be mindful that he does not regurgitate the same behavior towards Paris Hilton and does not dominate and control her simply because she is putting forward this childlike presentation.
We can only wish the best for Paris Hilton and that she continues to seek counseling to deal with her psychological trauma and regression and that the Nets 40 years or more of her life are not as difficult as they have been in previous years.
For Kathy Hilton to Deal with Her Psychological Issues
We can only hope that Kathy Hilton herself seeks counseling, deals with her own psychological issues which stems from her childhood and from the relationship with her parents. This will be best for all around her and her own wellbeing, even at an older age.
She will have the capability of healing old wounds, especially Paris’.
We wish the best for Paris Hilton, for her mental, physical and psychological wellbeing. We wish her true happiness, expression and the chance to live a full life – one where she is truly in control. Not one where we have seen with Britney Spears, is controlled and dictated by a parent or spouse.
We wish that she makes the right choices for that chance.
Don’t Covet Other’s Lives
Remember, appreciate your own existence make it what you desire it to be and do not convert the life wealth or experience of someone else.
Be present in your own reality and make steps towards joy and happiness.
Walk in the shoes that you were given.
About the writer:
Denise N. Fyffe is a published author of over 40 books, for more than ten years and enjoys volunteering as a counselor. She is a trainer, publisher, author, and writing mentor; helping others to achieve their dreams.
Check out her book Revealing The Spiritual Truth About Depression & Suicide
This book is a Christian literary work that shares valuable and potent information regarding the physical and spiritual truth about depression and suicide..
Available at all online book retailers and Amazon.com