I had an interesting trip to Hellshire beach in Jamaica the other day. There is so much happening there! You may go for the fish and to swim (I for one most certainly won’t swim in that water though) but you get so much more than that. There are persons walking around selling everything you could possibly imagine. You would think you’re in Coronation Market.

Let’s see if I can remember all the things I saw being sold…water guns, lollipops, chocolates, ganja wine (yes there is a rasta man walking around with a bucket of concoctions shouting ganja wine), peanut cake, gizzada.  By the way, the rasta man was also shouting that he has ‘sex marathon’ for sale. 

My cousin from England with her very proper English accent says, “What’s that you said? Sex marathon?” 

Just her shocked face and accent alone had my sister and me rolling.  I laughed till tears came.  Bear in mind that the man was NOT amused and thought we were making fun of him.  He stood there and gave us the diiiirtiest glare while my tears kept on coming.  I tried my hardest to stop, but nope…Man, if looks could kill they would have had to scoop us up off the ground!  Next, there was a man offering horse rides.  I feel so sorry for the poor horse.  Every time I saw it pass I felt a tugging at my heart and hoped that it’s not being overworked or mistreated.  If you know me well, you’ll know I’m a real sucker for animals.

What else was there? Well, you have a man walking around with a small structure which if I remember correctly was shaped like a house.  He’s probably focusing on tourists, as he is calling out that you can see Jamaica if you look into it…hmmm.   Is that so?  You also have a few persons dressed like some real comedic characters who just appear before you and start dancing in the hopes that you will give them money.  Now this one takes the cake.  There was a man calling out, “Tattoos and piercings.” 

Of course Ms. English goes, “Did that man just say tattoos and piercings? Right here on the beach? Really!”

(Gotta love my cousin) Best believe he’s walking around with a case, ready to tattoo any idiot who stops him.  I had to warn my cousin that she better stop and just eat the lobster before she gets my sister and I laughing again and in trouble lol…we already made one enemy at Hellshire and didn’t need another. 

We thought that was it for Hellshire’s comedic value but then we heard a man walk in ready to order and ask a worker, “Which fish you have dat have di least bones?” 

Hahahaha! Seriously?  The worker’s response, “Bredrin di whole a dem have in nuff bone.”  Possibly realizing he may lose the sale, he quickly added, “Parrot.  Have di parrot.”  Of course there was more snickering from my sister and me.  We decided, listen, we need to go before we get run out lol.

If you’re bored and hungry, go to Hellshire.  You won’t be disappointed.  You’ll get not only food, but entertainment too!