The Natalia Chronicles Part 11 – Never say never

 

 

By: Denise N. Fyffe.
Copyright © 2011, Poetess Defy, Denise Fyffe

Natalia read the ‘Daily Bread’ – the enforcer of daily spiritual practise in her life – and today it talks about ‘never saying never’.

She thinks to herself, about all the things she would want to do, felt destined to do. However, in her subconscious mind she has given up on them and said ‘I shall never attain them’. Somehow, she feels denied and even when they seem at her fingertips; they are snatched away. These things may be simple to some, but they hold a lot of fulfilment to her.

It’s like being ‘on-pause’ on the fulfilling or living of her true purpose on this earth. There must be some ‘galaxical’ reason why she suffered the experiences she has had. There must be a reason why she has lost all the things, people, moments, memories and …

There must be some scheme, even hidden for now, why her life has not been ordinary.

All these pieces must fall in place to prove her ‘never’ subconscious decision wrong and to bring her more than a bland existence of gay fulfilment. She dares not consciously entertain the hope; as the last half decade has left her with a throbbing scar. One which consistently lingers and makes its presence known; when she is just a step from ‘perceived’ peace.

Never say never…but isn’t that a contrary requirement. How can I never say never, when it requires the enforcement of the ‘never’?

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